That moment when you stumble upon an online photo of your nephew—the infant son of a half brother who has no interest in knowing you and who had an active role in destroying your relationship with your biological father—and realize that not only does your youngest son look just like your half brother, but your nephew looks just like your youngest son.
It feels like a vice is gripping itself around my heart, squeezing it and compressing it, and there is no way to loosen the hold. I want so much for my sons to know their lookalike cousins. I want to give my sons the connections they deserve and have lost through no fault of their own. And will this nephew of mine be told that he has cousins who live only miles down the road?
Spare someone else this pain.
Don’t use an anonymous donor.
Don’t be an anonymous/no-contact donor.
Treat us with equal dignity. Create us with equal rights.
Tiffany Gardner. Originally published to Instagram on May 18, 2021.
A Donor Conceived Adult 