A Donor Conceived Adult

If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having.

@sloanestephens

Twenty-four hours after my dad died (and just about two months after my biological father sent his “final chapter” email), a new brother showed up on my Ancestry DNA relatives page. I was shocked by the timing. My dad was gone; I had another brother.

Brad is also donor conceived and, like me, was never told. When I reached out to him a week after his name appeared, he was confused. But unlike another donor conceived brother, rather than never respond, Brad almost immediately wrote back after asking his mom how he could have a mystery relative in town. She thankfully told him the truth, and so he wrote back. We were grabbing lunch and drinks about two hours later. He lived the next town over, about 35 minutes away.

It was surreal walking up, yet again, to a stranger who shared my face, but we hugged and then talked for hours. The connection was immediate.

Since that day, Brad and his wife have become some of my closest friends. I was born eleven months before Brad. He and his wife have two children who are between my three boys’ ages. Our children have a blast together, and Brad and my husband have a lot in common as well, which has been great because not only did I gain a brother but my husband gained his first brother in law.

We have spent holidays and birthdays together, and I still can’t believe this August will mark only the second anniversary of the day we met. I’m so grateful for Brad and his family. They have been the silver lining to being donor conceived.