People do not have to be genetically related to be “real” siblings. People who share a genetic parent are “real” brothers and sisters–even if they never meet or know of each other’s existence.
For several weeks I have posted about why “real” is a horrible word to use when describing family. Both raising parents and genetic parents are real; they just play different roles. Sometimes people use “real” to mean genetic, and other times people use “real” to diminish the role of genetics and focus instead on action and intent. But the use of “real” is simply unfair. It is hurtful and dismissive no matter why it is used.
Along those same lines, “real” is not an appropriate word to describe siblings. Non-genetic or only partially genetic siblings are no less real than fully genetic siblings. And on the other hand, partially or fully genetic siblings who never meet, never know of each other’s existence, or only meet later in life are no less “real” than those who are raised together. They all share a bond, though that bond may be different.
✔️ Do the above types of siblings occur in fact or actuality?
✔️ Do they have a verifiable existence?
✔️ Are they true or actual?
✔️ Are they not imaginary, alleged, or ideal?
Seems to check all the boxes for what is real. 🤷🏻♀️
I was told by an acquaintance that my donor-conceived siblings are not my “real” siblings. Not true. My brother Brad and I have only known each other for two years, but we have become best friends in that time. I regret the years we did not know each other, and I treasure having him, his wife, and his children as part of my family. We did not need to grow up together to be part of a family.
The brothers and sisters I will never meet are also part of my family. They are my genetic siblings. Their children are cousins to my children. We share physical features and personality traits. If any of us were to need a life-saving donation, we would likely be matches. The time, distance, and unknown that separate us do not change a biological fact. And if any of us were to unknowingly date? Well, you get the picture.
Let’s stop describing only certain familial relations as “real” when all familial relations are “real.”
A Donor Conceived Adult 