Little known fact: I wanted to pursue a career in the FBI after law school but my terrible eyesight disqualified me from the outset. But if I had perfect eyesight today, I don’t know that I would even try to apply.
I have at least two friends who have been through the security clearance process. It is no joke. They seem to ask about anyone and everyone from an applicant’s past and obviously that includes family. Then they often interview those people.
How is a donor conceived person or their spouse supposed to answer the questions to obtain security clearance? I have seen this question come up in online groups enough to know it is a real issue. Which parent(s) do I list? Do I list the siblings who do not know I exist? Do I list the ones who won’t acknowledge my existence? What if I list my biological parent who wants nothing to do with me? If I do not list my absent genetic relatives, will I get in trouble? How do I explain that I do not even know how many siblings I have? What is my partner supposed to put on their application when it asks about my family?
That’s not some fun or funny hypothetical. That’s real life. Missing information gets flagged. Awkward explanations are provided. Anxiety is renewed. Feelings of rejection become fresh.
If I tried to apply for security clearance today, I have no idea how I would answer questions about family. I have no idea what would happen if my biological father was contacted because it was necessary for me to obtain security clearance.
The solution to this problem is not to continue lying to donor conceived people about their origins. The solution is to never have any of this information considered TOP SECRET to begin with. There should be no secrets about donor conception within any of the families who are connected through donor conception.
A Donor Conceived Adult 