A Donor Conceived Adult
Tiffany Gardner, an adult DCP
Category: my story
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Sperm & Egg Donors Are “Real” Parents
genetic parent (n) – a. A parent who has conceived or sired rather than adopted a child and whose genes are therefore transmitted to the child. b. The father and mother whose DNA a child carries. It’s been a few days since we explored the concept of what is “real” when it comes to familial
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What is “Real”?
real (adj) – Being or occurring in fact or actuality; having verifiable existence; true and actual; not imaginary, alleged, or ideal. I never liked the idea of having a “real” dad versus a dad who was not “real.” Some people use “real” when they mean “genetic.” And unfortunately, other people use “real” to diminish someone’s
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The Need for Family Medical History
The waiting game. I’ve lost count of the number of moles I’ve had cut off and biopsied, but this week and next I will be waiting for the results to see whether one on my face is malignant or benign. When I was pregnant with my first son, a precancerous mole appeared on my ear
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Intergenerational Trauma
My oldest son turned 8 yesterday. This time with my children is flying by, just as everyone said that it would. He is insightful, sensitive, artistic, curious, kind, and funny. He loves Minecraft, Harry Potter, LEGOs, Star Wars, creating art, reading with me, and playing video games. Out of all three of my sons, he
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A New Brother
If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having. @sloanestephens Twenty-four hours after my dad died (and just about two months after my biological father sent his “final chapter” email), a new brother showed up on my Ancestry DNA relatives page. I was
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The Final Chapter
When my biological father stopped communicating with me, I thought perhaps God was taking him out of my life in exchange for my father who raised me. That maybe my dad would survive the cancer. I was wrong. It’s been exactly two years since I woke up to find an email titled “Final Chapter” and
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When the Party’s Over
Happy birthday to my biological father. I look at the picture of the day we first met just under three years ago and still cannot believe this is and always was my life. I still have to tell myself that this previously anonymous and secret stranger is and always was my biological father. I still
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The Right to Know Our Genetic Identity
Today we raise awareness about the right to Genetic Identity, which has been recognized by the United Nations. Anonymous sperm and egg donation prohibit a person from having lifelong medical history updates, knowing their ancestry, and understanding exactly what parts of them are due to nature versus nurture. Anonymity leads to burning questions that are
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Missed Connections
That moment when you stumble upon an online photo of your nephew—the infant son of a half brother who has no interest in knowing you and who had an active role in destroying your relationship with your biological father—and realize that not only does your youngest son look just like your half brother, but your
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Fear of Abandonment
When you fear the abandonment of another, the probability of you abandoning yourself goes up. Vienna Pharaon This one resonated. When I found my biological father and we connected, I did everything in my power to be perfect. I was sincere in my efforts at bonding with him and his wife, but I did my
A Donor Conceived Adult 