A Donor Conceived Adult
Tiffany Gardner, an adult DCP
Tag: rejection
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The Sting of Rejection
Rejection from genetic family feels like being the kid nobody wants on the team. Do you remember the dread in PE when you were about to play a team sport and the students, not the teachers, would pick teams? I sure do. I remember the stress of standing on one side of the imaginary line
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This Ride is Exhausting
I was riding high for a couple of weeks. The Atlantic article came out, and in its wake I had doors open for more writing opportunities, podcast interviews, potential collaborations, and more. I was feeling good. Empowered. At peace. I told my therapist I felt as if the grief over my biological father was in
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Intergenerational Trauma
My oldest son turned 8 yesterday. This time with my children is flying by, just as everyone said that it would. He is insightful, sensitive, artistic, curious, kind, and funny. He loves Minecraft, Harry Potter, LEGOs, Star Wars, creating art, reading with me, and playing video games. Out of all three of my sons, he
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Anonymity is a Roadblock to Closure
For late-discovery donor conceived people, it seems recipient parents often want to minimize our feelings by focusing on the deception. “If I just tell the truth from the beginning, my kids won’t end up [insert negative adjective of choice here].” But telling the truth doesn’t always tell the whole story. What upsets me the most
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The Pain of Rejection
Share your joys and sorrows with your family. a fortune cookie Some days I just cannot fathom how I will spend the rest of my life cut off by my biological father and his family. Worth nothing more to them than a stranger on the street when I want so badly to have some small
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The Final Chapter
When my biological father stopped communicating with me, I thought perhaps God was taking him out of my life in exchange for my father who raised me. That maybe my dad would survive the cancer. I was wrong. It’s been exactly two years since I woke up to find an email titled “Final Chapter” and
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When the Party’s Over
Happy birthday to my biological father. I look at the picture of the day we first met just under three years ago and still cannot believe this is and always was my life. I still have to tell myself that this previously anonymous and secret stranger is and always was my biological father. I still
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Missed Connections
That moment when you stumble upon an online photo of your nephew—the infant son of a half brother who has no interest in knowing you and who had an active role in destroying your relationship with your biological father—and realize that not only does your youngest son look just like your half brother, but your
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Lost & Found
I lost myself trying to please everyone else. Now I’m losing everyone while I’m finding myself. – Unknown As someone who has gone public with family and friends about being donor conceived, I feel this deeply. Many donor-conceived people keep their status a secret for the protection of others, but secrecy denotes shame. Secrecy screams
A Donor Conceived Adult 