A Donor Conceived Adult
Tiffany Gardner, an adult DCP
Tag: secrecy
-
Top Secret: When Donor Conceived People Need Security Clearance
Little known fact: I wanted to pursue a career in the FBI after law school but my terrible eyesight disqualified me from the outset. But if I had perfect eyesight today, I don’t know that I would even try to apply. I have at least two friends who have been through the security clearance process.
-
A Georgia Bulldog Family
The Georgia Bulldogs are College Football National Champions, and my family is thrilled. I spent my freshman year at UGA before transferring to Miami University (Ohio) to be with my now-husband. But I had never been to a UGA football game–until I identified my biological father. I never shared this photograph publicly until the Dawgs
-
The Sting of Rejection
Rejection from genetic family feels like being the kid nobody wants on the team. Do you remember the dread in PE when you were about to play a team sport and the students, not the teachers, would pick teams? I sure do. I remember the stress of standing on one side of the imaginary line
-
It’s Sibling Season
What is Sibling Season? It’s how those of us in DCP (donor-conceived person) support groups refer to late November into the new year. As the gift-giving holidays are upon us and Ancestry, 23 and Me, and other commercial DNA services slash prices, more people buy at-home tests for fun or as presents. Some folks get only one
-
(Donor Conceived) Baby’s First Christmas
Something about the ornaments from my first Christmas hits differently now that I know I am donor conceived. I have no independent memories of the ornaments. Instead I found them while moving my grandmother and mom out of their houses, respectively. I think about what these ornaments must have meant to them as they hung
-
This Ride is Exhausting
I was riding high for a couple of weeks. The Atlantic article came out, and in its wake I had doors open for more writing opportunities, podcast interviews, potential collaborations, and more. I was feeling good. Empowered. At peace. I told my therapist I felt as if the grief over my biological father was in
-
The Need for Family Medical History
The waiting game. I’ve lost count of the number of moles I’ve had cut off and biopsied, but this week and next I will be waiting for the results to see whether one on my face is malignant or benign. When I was pregnant with my first son, a precancerous mole appeared on my ear
-
Intergenerational Trauma
My oldest son turned 8 yesterday. This time with my children is flying by, just as everyone said that it would. He is insightful, sensitive, artistic, curious, kind, and funny. He loves Minecraft, Harry Potter, LEGOs, Star Wars, creating art, reading with me, and playing video games. Out of all three of my sons, he
-
Anonymity is a Roadblock to Closure
For late-discovery donor conceived people, it seems recipient parents often want to minimize our feelings by focusing on the deception. “If I just tell the truth from the beginning, my kids won’t end up [insert negative adjective of choice here].” But telling the truth doesn’t always tell the whole story. What upsets me the most
-
The Pain of Rejection
Share your joys and sorrows with your family. a fortune cookie Some days I just cannot fathom how I will spend the rest of my life cut off by my biological father and his family. Worth nothing more to them than a stranger on the street when I want so badly to have some small
A Donor Conceived Adult 